No Time For Feelings

I always try to take the time to write in a journal or blog when I’m feeling something. I find that by having this blog as one of my outlets, I am able to really just unload (or unleash lol) all of my feelings. While I’m not always the best at expressing my feelings speaking wise; when I write, I feel a sense that I’m getting it all out. So as always, I am SO thankful to have this. And side note: if you ever feel like you’re having a hard time with your feelings? Try writing them down. It helps.

What I really have my heart on today is this. Do you ever feel like you have no time for your own feelings as a mom? I feel like I am always working through this and it’s a constant small battle. You are just about to get a small window to feel your feelings, and somebody needs a diaper change. You sit down to have a moment to breathe, and someone wants a snack. You go to bed exhausted at night, and you’re too tired to feel your own feelings, if that’s even a thing. I often feel I have zero time to get my own feelings in. Do you ever feel something like this?

I am huge on emotions and feelings and I really care about others emotions too. I always think about things like you never know what somebody might be going through, so just be kind. When I’m at the store checking out, I’ll hold random conversations with the lady scanning my groceries. When I go through a drive thru, I try to be extra friendly, because I’ve seen some of the people they’ve had to handle before. I just love when people feel good, and when they feel included and noticed. Being kind goes a long way. Giving compliments, spreading light, having a smile on your face, it makes such a difference for others! I love to give positive energy out. When I know that someone else feels good? It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. But I also often leave myself barely hanging on by a thread. I need to learn to give myself that same kindness.

I just had another mom friend over this morning and we got chatting about it. We mentioned that we are there for our children 24/7, and others but we aren’t always there for ourselves? — Side note: you know who you are, thank you for the vent session I truly need this morning. You’re the best! — It’s like we don’t have time for feelings. Wait what? Moms have feelings?! We do, but we are always pulled away from actually feeling them because, KIDS. And I mean that in the best way! I am pretty hard on myself, and almost talk myself out of my own feelings sometimes. I will often times block out anything dark and lonely feeling, and just bring out all the sunshine and happiness I can get. And I enjoy doing that! Because it does bring light that I think we truly need especially around our world today. But when I don’t take the time to feel those feelings I actually need to, it often leads to some type of breakdown when it all builds up. With so much going on all around us, I try to just focus on positive and fun-loving things. I’ll totally avoid the news channels (which I do think it for the better most of the time). I’ll watch the same shows over and over because I already know the ending, and there won’t be any surprises. I’ll clean or organize random stuff that doesn’t even need to be done, just to not have to focus on my own feelings.

What good does this do? Well… I learn the hard way every time when it all builds up and all comes crumbling down at once too many times. I’ll be in the shower and just start crying. Or in the middle of the night I’ll wake up out of a dead sleep and feel so anxious and overwhelmed that I can’t get back to sleep. I tend let my mind wander into rabbit holes of who knows what that will keep me up at night sometimes too. That’s another story though! But once I actually get those emotions out and FEEL my actual feelings, then I feel like I can get back up and going again. I just really need to work on validating my own feelings. Feeling them when they are right then and there. I work well validating others feelings like my children’s but don’t always get mine in check until it’s too late. We need to have our feelings, and react with them. It’s normal; we’re all human.

It’s okay to have those days where you just want to crawl back in bed. There are so many people struggling right now. I think through prayer and devotionals, I’ve been able to somewhat tackle those feelings when I need to. I was also able to get involved in a women’s bible study the past six weeks that helped so much as well. I absolutely love watching my babies grow and raising them into the best little humans I possibly can. I teach them that it’s okay to have feelings? So clearly I need to start taking my own advice! I know I’m not the only mama who feels this way though. And if you are a mom who feels alone and like they have no time for their feelings? Sister, I am right there with you and WE got this. You know who else has this? God! Don’t ever forget to rely on him. He hears you. He is always there. He will guide you where you need to be.

Lots of love & God Bless,

Alyssa

P.S. God always sends you those tiny little signs you need. The other day Carter brought home his bible verse for the week and it was one of my favorites. I truly think it was a sign from God and a reminder that he is ALWAYS there and with HIM all things are truly possible.