Do You Ever Feel “Mom Guilt?”

I love being a mom. I talk about it all the time that I know God put me on this earth to be a mother. Carter is always inspiring me to be a better mom and person, whether he knows it or not! I watch him run around the house every day giggling and exploring; it warms my heart! I have an Instagram account for my blog (@nextplaywithmrs.j if you aren’t following it yet!). I follow tons of other mom bloggers, lifestyle bloggers, small shop owners, and more. I will scroll through my feed sometimes and I see all of these fun projects and ideas that mom’s are doing with their kids around Carter’s age. It’s so cute! I see what foods mom’s are serving their little ones and I save the recipes to try with Carter. I see moms finding the time to workout almost every day. But then I think to myself, “Wait, am I doing enough with Carter to promote his development and language? Do I challenge him to try enough foods? Am I raising him to be a good listener and a kind boy? Does picking up the toys nine times today count as a workout for me?” The questions are endless!

The dreaded social media guilt gets me again. I second guess myself as a mom. I start digging through the pantry and cupboards to see if we have certain ingredients or tools to do some of the crafts I just read about. While I’m digging I see all kinds of junk that I can get rid of so I start setting stuff out to take to Goodwill or just throw away. In the meantime the dishwasher beeps that it’s done so I start putting the dishes away. Carter comes into the kitchen and wants to help, so I let him hand the silverware to me, (as he’s literally sitting on the dishwasher drawer LOL). It takes quite a bit longer to put the dishes away, but that’s okay. Carter sees that I have a bunch of random things from the cupboards sitting on the counter and floor so he starts asking “what’s that?!” to just about everything. I decide to let him help me put some stuff in the trash, and set a few things in a box to take to Goodwill. It’s almost lunch time so I check the refrigerator to see what I should make Carter for lunch. We have leftovers from yesterday so I get his EZPZ mat filled with some of those and some fruit. He’s not feeling his highchair today, so I let him stand on his stool at the kitchen counter to eat while I finish loading the dishwasher back up, just so I can run it again!

I look into the living room and see the toy explosion that went off. At our cabin we don’t really have a playroom or a specific place for Carter’s toys, so they are pretty much just out and everywhere at all times. Carter was just picking at his lunch and ended up getting down to go play some more. So I headed into the living room with him. We built with his Legos, danced to some Moana songs, and I realized it was getting close to nap time so we read a couple books. I put Carter down for his nap and came back out to the kitchen to finish cleaning out and picking up the toys. I was still feeling like I should be doing more with Carter and was trying to see what I could come up with to do once he was up from his nap.

But then Bella came up to me with one of her toys so I stopped what I was doing to throw it for her a couple times to go fetch. I was thinking about the entire day in general. My thoughts were, “I really didn’t get much done today. I should take the time to workout while Carter naps. Where should I start, the toys or the laundry?” But then it hit me. Why am I so worried about SO much. Why am I being so hard on myself. Why should I feel the need to do exactly as other moms are doing? Why would I ever let social media make me feel this guilty as a mom. It’s been a great day so far. Carter has been in a great mood, we may have destroyed the living room but we had a blast doing it, I started a pile for Goodwill, I got the dishes put away, etc. It really has actually been a pretty productive day if I really stop and look at it.

I have wrote about it before, how as moms we seem to put so much pressure on ourselves to be “perfect.” We put pressure on ourselves to be that “Pinterest Mom.” But what you are doing right now as a mom, is just fine. We may not have created snowmen out of cardboard, but we made Lego towers. We may not have had a kale and avocado chicken bake, but we ate up our yummy leftovers. We may not have gone on an adventure outside since it was too cold, but we had an adventure inside by doing the things we did. I am always putting a ton of pressure on myself. I love to make everyone happy and give my best self at all times. But what I need to remind myself is that it’s okay if you aren’t always your best self. Yes I see the quotes, always strive to be and give your best self etc. But it’s okay to be simple and do simple things with your day. I absolutely love a good arts and crafts session, but today I had Carter try and help with me with some chores instead. There’s nothing wrong with that!

The pressure is so real. I can’t blame it on social media because I do enjoy sharing our lives on social media, especially through my blog. Since we’ve made so many friends throughout football and college, it’s also a great way to stay connected with everyone. I love my blog and I love following other bloggers for extra tips and tricks, but that doesn’t mean I need to be exactly like them. I shouldn’t feel the need to constantly impress. The way I “mom” or parent is just fine and I need to remember that. Every mom is different. No matter how you raise your kids, you’re doing an incredible job. We’re all just trying to do the best we can, and that’s enough! I have said it before how challenging being a mom is, but my goodness is it rewarding. I may get a Hot Wheels car thrown at me during a temper tantrum, but I also get the sweetest hugs and cuddles from my sweet blonde boy. I may not have gotten my child to eat many healthy foods today, but he is happy and healthy! I may not have finished the laundry, the vacuuming, the painting (yes we are working on some painting in our cabin, add it to the list!). But RELAX ALYSSA. I wouldn’t change any of it for the world. Carter is my whole world, and I thank God every single day for him even on our off days.

If you’re a mom reading this, I know you’ve probably had moments just like mine. And if you are a mom that does cut their children’s sandwiches into hearts and smiley faces, that is absolutely wonderful! Keep doing it! We all do things differently, and that’s what makes our children so unique! We are all in this together, and the Mom Tribe is SO real. I’m always here to chat about mom moments, I’d love to hear from you! The good, the bad, and the crazy LOL. Thank you so much for checking out my blog, I would be no where without you and your support! Cheers to you moms (especially my own mom), the world would stop spinning without us! Check back again soon for the Next Play!

Lots of love and God Bless,

Alyssa

About Alyssa Janis

Hi Everyone! Welcome to my lifestyle blog! Thank you so much for coming to my site to learn a little more about me and our family. I am 28 years old, (oh my goodness almost 30...), and have been married to my amazing husband, Jeff, for four years. I am also a mom! Carter James is our adorable, little blondie who is two, and Payton Jeanne is our newest baby girl who was born this past July. Bella is our yellow lab, and Chuckles is our cat. Of course I had to mention the fur babies because I'm sure they will come up in this blog at some point. I've been wanting to start a blog for quite some time now, and I think God finally gave me the courage to do it. I have always enjoyed writing, and while this is new to me, I'd love to share a little more about my life with you. My hope is for you to read this blog and feel like you're having normal conversation with me, so feel free to ask questions and make comments! I look forward to sharing our former NFL family life, mommy tips, recipes, favorite bible verses, and more. Looking forward to sharing the next play with you!

2 Responses

  1. Sharon Gracik

    Alyssa, you are doing a fantastic job as a mom! I love watching you parent Carter! You are so patient with him and teach him something new everyday! I love you so much and am so proud of you!

    Like

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