The Last First Birthday..

Happy First Birthday, Ally Grace!!

This little girl has forever changed me in the best way. Little does she know, I have so much to thank her for. Thank you for slowing me down as a busy mom of four to enjoy the little things. Thank you for the most amazing snuggles and hugs. Thank you for holding my hand as you fall asleep every night. Thank you for always wanting to be held, even though it can be challenging at times, I wish I could freeze time in the feeling of your little arms around me. Thank you for helping me realize it’s okay if I don’t have it all together perfectly. Thank you for giving us so many reasons to smile. Thank you for learning to like your car seat, because we sure traveled a lot with you since the day you were born! Thank you for making me less of a helicopter mom, even though I still kind of am one! Thank you for getting me outside more. Thank you for making me a better mommy.

I remember contemplating trying for a fourth baby, and thinking to myself, “Am I crazy?”. Maybe a little.. but mostly crazy in love and chaos! Even though I am more experienced in motherhood, I felt like I was back at square one in moments with Ally because it was my first time, having it be the last time. The last time bringing a baby home from the hospital. The last time having a bottle dryer on our counter. The last season of life buying diapers. The last baptism. The last time using an infant car seat. The last baby milestones. The last time recovering postpartum. The last time planning a first birthday party. The last time using the crib that every child of ours has slept in at one point. Every first was also our last, and saying that makes me extra emotional! I have loved bigger than I ever have before because of this sweet little girl. On those (many) nights when she would be awake 2-3 times in the night, I knew in my heart it was only temporary. When she was really sick for the first time at five months old (thank you school-aged siblings lol), I wasn’t losing my marbles. The time when she emptied every clean laundry basket that I had just folded, I laughed with her. When she is a chatterbox during mass, I don’t feel overwhelmed or stressed about it. There are so many other things to add to this list too!! She gave me more confidence than I even realized as I look back on the last year. I’ll always be so grateful for that. 

Ally still seems to find ways to surprise me, and that has me even more present as a mama too. She is the sweetest final chapter to our story. 

Lots of love & God Bless,

-Alyssa