We Always Find a Way..

It’s Sunday again already?! We had such a great weekend out at our local campground, having some seasonal fun and celebrating Halloween. We have been going out there since Carter was a baby, so it has pretty much become a tradition. But this year we decided to take our own camper out there to try something a little different. Now this camper was mainly bought by Jeff for his hunting trips, but it also totally worked for a short weekend like this past one. It was pretty last minute, and I’ll be honest, I overpacked on some things.. under packed on other items lol.. but it was a great weekend with the kids. I think as a mom when you try to plan an event, or a fun weekend, you have this idea in your head of how it will go, and pretty much every time, it goes the complete opposite. Not in a bad way necessarily! The kids had such a blast this weekend. And I will admit, it was much needed, I love when we can get such good time in as a whole family.

I personally have felt heavy shoulders over the last week. I was somewhat in a bit of a funk that had me on edge over the smallest things. It wasn’t anything I can really pin point, maybe it’s the world feeling heavy. So that added into it? But more so, burnt out. Our house has been a rotating disaster.. Honestly most of the time I don’t really mind the mess? I really don’t. And I’ll just let it go, and pick up some things when I can. But the mess finally made me snap I think. And it became a mess that wasn’t as easy clean-up or an easy fix. It was one of those messes that you just kind of sit in because it looks way too overwhelming and you have no clue where to start. The mud-room shoe and after-school chaos? The living room book explosion? The six baskets of laundry that need to be put away? You think to yourself, “Oh, somebody will pick that up.” But then you walk by it for the tenth time and items are all still there and be reminded that the “somebody” is you!

I found myself laying in bed at night thinking about the mess.. or the way I reacted because of that mess, and questioning everything. Whether I should have done this differently, or tried harder on something else. That in itself as a mom can be exhausting. There are times that I let over-thinking get the best of me, when really I should be praying or talking to God about this. There is this post going around that I have seen on social media about when you’re awake at night and cannot get back to sleep, it means that God is trying to talk to you? Or trying to get ahold of you. Something along those lines! I’ve tried to keep that in mind when my mind starts racing at night.

Our three sweet kids. They don’t always make it easy on me by any means.. but they do make it worth it. I remember back when I had Payton, I was on the struggle bus of just trying to get the hang of things. Somebody told me “Well, you just need to find the right balance.” Which, I do understand what they were trying to say. But also, balance is a little hard when the seasons of life change constantly. Sometimes you are just getting into the swing and routine of things, and then a new opportunity presents itself. This can often be super exciting, but also adds another serving onto your plate at the same time.

I would never want to sound ungrateful for any of the beautiful blessings we have in our lives, and that I have the honor to be a mother. But it’s 100% okay to validate your feelings too, and be honest with yourself. I know we will “miss the mess” one day, but that doesn’t mean we can’t feel stuck or overwhelmed by it in the moment? This job is hard. We can lost our patience and marbles all at once while still being a good mom, did you know that? I know I need to be reminded. It doesn’t make us weak when we lose our patience. It means we care. And for me personally, when I get to the point of feeling like it’s too much? I know this is only making me stronger. It can be hard to see it that way when you’re in the thick of it, but I try to remind myself of that quite often.

So! Here we are, another Sunday to start fresh and grace-filled. I pray that this week brings all of us patience, and clear vision in what God is asking of us, and what we need to ask God for help towards. More faith, more hope, more love.

Lots of love and God Bless,

-Alyssa