And when I say don’t forget the brakes.. I mean literally.. the brakes! Motherhood. Some days you’re thriving and on top of your game and other days you’re just not. As a new mom of three I’ve had a mix of these days lol.. I feel like I’m getting the hang of things one day and the next I’m falling apart.
I think one of the hardest parts is loving your children SO much but also not being able to be there 100% for each one of them 24/7. It’s like you are, but you aren’t. You want to be able to grab everyone what they need at the same time and give each little one your full attention all of the time but it just doesn’t work that way. Your heart grows 1,000 times bigger with more kids, but your time is also stretched more thin. I also grew another section in my brain to remember things for a new baby along with my current list already for Carter and Payton. And I’m not complaining at all! I’d do it 100 times over again! Well maybe not 100 lol.. I love the craziness and being their mommy, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have my moments where I second guess, doubt myself, or in this case forget the brakes..
I mean I’m embarrassed to even tell this story… but also it’s a reflection of how good our God is and the way he protects us. We had been having a morning and some not so good behavior moments. So I decided it was time to head outside! Well.. the back-talking from Carter continued so I said he had to help me bring the trash cans up from garbage day, which also involved a hot mess of emotions. But! Finally got the cans up to our house and I thought it’d be nice to help Carter ride his bike.
We got his bike out at the top of our driveway. Payton was on her scooter, Carter was getting ready to walk his bike down our big hill, and I had Levi strapped in our stroller. We started moving and Carter stopped, saying “I can’t do this, I don’t want to.” So I knelt down to give him a pep talk, literally not even thinking or noticing what I was doing, I didn’t put the brakes on the stroller… y’all…. I am getting so much anxiety even typing this and picturing it!!! Levi zoomed down the hill of our entire driveway in the stroller.. alone.. thankfully strapped in but all the way down to the end. I think I was in shock that it had even happened and I went running down the driveway after him. The stroller finally stopped in the grass at the end of the driveway, still upright and Levi perfectly fine (just a little scared..), THANK GOD. But how!! How did I let the stroller go… HOW. I don’t even remember doing it if that even makes sense. But it happened. It could have been SO much worse I can’t even think about it because it makes me sick to my stomach. But God had Levi, and God had me. That is literally the only way that kept Levi in the stroller safe.
I could go into more details but you get the gist.. one of those moments that you feel so relieved but also like a terrible mom for even letting it happen. You replay the moment over and over again, questioning your own confidence and strength as a mom.
BUT. I can’t dig myself into a hole and have a pity party. I can’t be on 100% of the time and that’s okay. This is the most rewarding job on the planet. You’re raising little human’s!! And yes the pressures are there, and the fears, but all in all, God’s got this. He chose YOU. He chose you to be your children’s mother! You are the woman for the job. I often think about this after a long day with the kids as I try and get to sleep. God chose ME. He hand picked me to be Carter, Payton, and Levi’s mommy. And that right there? Is SUCH a gift. I’m doing the best I can!
So grace upon grace mommy’s, you got this. And just a friendly reminder to put the brakes on your baby stroller… Happy Sunday🤍.
Lots of love & God Bless,